Although there may be one Slick Willy in this bunch, most of these robbers and would-be robbers are by no means masters of disguise. Whether they were drunk or drugged when they thought up these disguises, or just plain stupid, only one of them got away without being arrested. That being said, he also left with no cash. The rest of these guys are doing time.
Magic Marker Disguise
Matthew Allan McNelly and Joey Lee Miller are two Iowa burglars who couldn’t come up with ski masks, so they improvised with black magic marker. A man called the police after the pair tried to break into his home and when they were caught there was no hiding their guilt. It was written all over their dumb faces. McNelly was charged with drunk driving and both idiots were charged with attempted burglary.
Duct Tape Bandit
This moron, Kasey G. Kazee, wrapped his head in duct tape before attempting to rob a liquor store in Kentucky. The staff at the liquor store nabbed him for the cops. When police arrived, they peeled the duct tape off of him and charged him with first-degree robbery. Kazee emphatically denied being the duct tape bandit.
White Guy Robs as a Black Man
Conrad Zdzierak wore an elaborate disguise when he went on a bank robbing spree in Ohio. Police say the robber at six bank locations was described as a bald black man with acne scarring on his face. Zdzierak had used an expensive Hollywood-style mask as a disguise. Police acted on a tip and got a search warrant and the jig was up.
Mop Head Attempts to Rob a Gas Station
In Estero, Florida, a man surprised the clerk at a gas station by running in, wearing a mop on his head as a disguise, and demanding money. The cashier stalled him and he eventually just ran away empty-handed.
Two Colorado retards wore women’s thong underwear on their heads in an attempt to disguise themselves while they robbed a convenience store. As it turns out, thongs don’t cover all that much, so they were recognized from the surveillance tape, on which they are seen beating the clerk in the face, breaking her jaw and stealing $100 and some cigarettes.
Robber Disguises Himself as a Tree
A man disguised as a tree tried to rob a bank in New Hampshire. Unbe-leaf-ably, duct-taped tree branches to his head and torso, entered the bank and demanded money from a teller. He was identified by the surveillance footage and arrested.
Palm Tree Robber
This guy just wanted $50, so he didn’t bother putting together much of a disguise. Gelando Olivieri just ripped some palm fronds off a tree and went inside to demand 50 bucks. As you can see, nobody was intimidated by him, and the robbery didn’t go very well.